When breastfeeding is a struggle.....

When I am visiting mums for their bra fitting - particularly first time mums who haven't yet had their baby, we often end up chatting about their expectations for breastfeeding. Some are super confident, yet others are a little unsure how they will do and may be worried if they will be able to do it.

This got me wondering why there is this difference? Why do some new mums approach breastfeeding with such confidence, and others are keen to be able to do it but somehow not able to trust their bodies to keep going with the task of nurturing their baby that they have been doing for the past nine months.

Partly some people are always optimists - assuming everything will go well, and others are more pessimistic but this doesn't explain it all. From talking a little more to these mums I have found that often those who are confident have friends and family around them who have breastfed and who are supporting them. They may not have had the easiest time themselves - a lot of these new mums know to expect difficult times and especially the sleepless nights, but the difference is these friends and family GOT THROUGH all the problems in the early days and found the joy of breastfeeding the other side.

In contrast those who are nervous often don't have this support, there is sometimes no one there to encourage them to keep going when it gets tough, or to help them find skilled help if problems occur. These are the mums who need to find their local breastfeeding support groups early on - ideally whilst still pregnant, or in the first week, before they get close to giving up and BEFORE they hit a problem. Whilst these groups often have skilled help available from a breastfeeding counsellor or La Leche League Leader the best support comes from talking to other mums around the same stage as yourself, and a little further on.

Perhaps your baby has suddenly started feeding constantly for the last 24hours - by yourself you might worry that you are loosing your milk supply, but the other mums can reassure you that this is normal - their babies did it (and around the same age too), and again a few weeks later! Its not that you don't have enough milk, but just that your baby is going through one of the regular growth spurts, and by feeding all day this gives your milk supply a boost so that it can keep up with your growing baby.

Perhaps you have noticed a tender lump on your breast. Its not hurting enough that you feel you need to see your doctor or midwife, but you're still a little unsure if this is normal... Well you can ask the other mums. In this case you may have the beginnings of a blocked duct and with information from the counsellor and the other mums you'll be able to safely treat it yourself before it potentially progresses to mastitis. (Blocked ducts may be caused by a badly fitting bra - check our bra fitting guide or get yourself professionally fitted or checked to avoid problems.)

So, if you are expecting a baby, or have already started breastfeeding, then find yourself a group of breastfeeding mums NOW! You won't regret it, and perhaps, like me, you'll find a new group of friends who will not only support you through the early weeks and months but who will be with you as your child progresses though toddler groups and playgroups, and eventually off to school. My daughter is starting her third year at school tomorrow (and my son his first!) but her best friend she has known since I met her mum at a breastfeeding support group almost seven years ago.

PS If you can't find a support group near you (ask your midwife - they should have a list) then try an online forum such as I Want My Mum - but beware as not all forums are equal. This one has trained and registered midwives and breastfeeding counsellors available to give information and to keep an eye on the advice offered.